I just returned to the ghost story that was shortlisted in a writing magazine's competition. I worked so hard on that, and felt quite proud of it, which is why I'd pencilled into my diary that I needed to send it to a magazine this weekend for consideration for Hallowe'en issues.
But what do I find when I re-read it? That it's pretentious, and all the careful crafting that went into it just looks try-hard-y instead of clever. There seem to be too many characters. It jolts along.
I can't really describe how disappointed I am. Is it worth re-working and sending anyway? I don't know. It doesn't seem like typical magazine fare. But it says on my whiteboard of advice that I need to keep sending work out. I suppose I should bite the bullet and feel the fear and all those other cliches.
But the discouragement is deadening.