Friday, 23 October 2015

The Long Way Round

I've been 'trying' to lose weight for over a year now, with varied success, although I am still a stone lighter than when I began. However, I'm going through a definite phase of putting pounds on, then losing them again, without much real movement. The one thing I know for sure is: I'm not giving up. And one day, I'll have the determination to take some real strides in the right direction again. Perhaps this shows as much perseverance as someone who loses weight every week until they hit their's just that the level of my perseverance varies and wavers from week to week. My long-term goal doesn't change though, and I keep working towards it, however discouraged I am by myself, and however dogged I am by the spectre of failure.

My writing is exactly the same. I laid my manuscript down, now, months ago, and I've been utterly terrified of taking it up again. I've procrastinated, and used distraction techniques, and sometimes I've even been genuinely unable to make time, or had my plans to do writing classes thwarted.

But today I picked it up again, and realised that my goal hasn't changed - I'm just on the scenic route to completion. It's not the most accomplished or professional route, but you know what? I'm also holding down a very demanding part-time job, and raising four kids on my own, so I'm not going to beat myself up about it. And the other thing is - I remembered today just how much I enjoy it. I was having a bad day; feeling angry and tumultuous about several things that I thought were disastrous. Spending an hour writing turned my whole day around, and made me feel so upbeat.

A bit of a happy ending to the day, if you ask me.